The following is an old joke that I have expanded, embellished and tried to make more visual. It helps if you stand up and run around the room, as described below, but I’ll leave that up to your discretion. Here goes.
There once was a wise old rooster who was king of Farmer Brown’s hen house. That’s the way he liked it and everything was going swimmingly until one day, a vibrant, strong younger rooster came onto the scene. As would be natural in such a situation, the two roosters butted heads.
The old rooster grew more and more jealous of the attention paid to the younger rooster. Therefore, he came up with a plan. He approached the younger rooster with the following idea.
“Let’s decide who’s boss around here. I suggest we hold a contest and the winner gets to be in charge. How about a race?”
The young rooster, being full of energy and the self-confidence of youth, was certain he would come out on top in any contest with “the old guy.” He immediately agreed to the proposal.
Let me say again, the old rooster was a really wise old bird.
The old rooster looked at his younger competitor and said, “You know, it’s not really fair that we compete on an equal basis. You’re a lot younger and stronger than me. To make this contest fair, you need to be given a handicap. Here’s an old champagne bottle left over from New Year’s Eve. How about if you carry it under one wing?”
The young rooster, being full of himself, didn’t even hesitate. “That’s fine by me. I’ll still beat you handily,” he said.
The old rooster looked around and his eyes fell on farmer Brown’s garden. “Okay, if you’re so sure about winning, then how about also carrying a bunch of flowers under your other wing?”
“No problem,” said the cocky young bird. And the two roosters picked a beautiful bouquet for the younger bird to tuck under his other wing.
Remember, the old rooster was really experienced and clever.
It just so happened that out behind the hen house was a running track, with a small grandstand located along the northern straightaway. It was agreed that the race would be over ten laps and it would begin in half an hour.
Over the next thirty minutes, all of the hens came out of the hen house to watch and cheer on their favourite. The head hen was chosen to start the event and at the appointed time, she shouted out, “On your marks! Get set! Go!” and the race was on.
From the beginning, the old rooster was slightly out front, with the young rooster chasing after him. The old rooster was running as fast and as hard as he could. The young rooster, weighed down by the champagne and the flowers, was only a step or two behind, but he could never quite catch up to the older bird.
(Here’s where the joke teller can run around the dining room table, with a flapping of arms and appropriate props.)
Around about the seventh lap, the sound of cheering from the stands grew deafening. Farmer Brown, working on his accounts in his home office, could hear the rising cacophony and wondered what the racket was. He grabbed his shotgun and charged out into the yard. The hooting and the hollering on the other side of the hen house was prodigious.
Farmer Brown rushed to the scene. When he arrived and saw what was going on, he could hardly believe his eyes. The young rooster was still chasing after the old rooster with all his might, while carrying the bottle and the blossoms.
As they made the turn closest to farmer Brown, BLAM went his shotgun and the young rooster was blown away.
Farmer Brown shook his head in frustration. “Dang! That’s the third gender-confused rooster I’ve had to shoot this year,” he said.
Remember, the old rooster was a really smart old bird.
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The expansion-on-a-single-joke theme continues in One Fib Too Far. Herman the talking dog is too perfect. But there’s one misstep from which he can’t recover.
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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.
For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.
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