As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I’ve discovered (through virtually no research) that many of the place names in Canada still bear the names assigned to them by the original native peoples.
They knew what they were doing when they gave us some of our most unique calling cards. Here are some more examples.
The Niagara before Falls means “big leap”. This has certainly proven to be true over many years, for honeymooners, gamblers and people in a barrel.
The Athabasca that goes with Tar Sands shows native Canadians at their far-seeing best. The loose translation is “sticky feet (the natives) will lead to sticky fingers (the oil company executives)”.
We now know that the geological strata in the northeast of the province harbours deposits of uranium, but the first peoples just called their land Saskatchewan for “glows in the dark; can be seen forever.”
Winnipeg, as anyone who has visited the city in early summer is aware, means “place where all mosquitoes must go to feed, breed and prosper”. The city is marked with a big “X” on all maps sold to mosquitoes. “Red Dog, this is Squadron Leader. Lock onto target and attack at will. Dive! Dive!”
The location of Moose Jaw, across the border from Montana, was a favourite of American bootleggers. The term Moose Jaw was actually an Indian nickname for a hangover cure, kind of like “hair of the dog that bit you.” You would immediately sober up if you kicked back a Moose Jaw, the ingredients of which still remain a secret.
Given that distances are relative on the Prairies, “nearby” Medicine Hat has adopted as its moniker the “cutesy” nickname of the receptacle that you throw up into after drinking Moose Jaw whiskey. (Please, no cards, no letters, no angry e-mails and no anonymous threats by phone in the middle of the night.)
And there are other non-native Canadian place names with colourful histories. For example, did you know that the “Charlotte” in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, comes from the stage name Anne of Green Gables adopted when she went on tour as a burlesque queen? Only a handful of people know this, mostly dirty old men.
Disclaimer: Little of the foregoing is true. No animals or children were hurt or put at risk in the making of this blog entry. No slights were intended or implied with respect to any individuals, places or events.
If I have caused injury, please consider yourself apologized to.
Of course, you might also want to think about enrolling in a course at Grow-a-Funny-Bone School.
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Here’s a story that takes a more scholarly approach to Canadiana, but manages to have some fun along the way regardless: Canadian Artists – A Talented Lot, but Poor at Math.
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