Alex Carrick’s Blog

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Proper Young Ladies Should Never…

July 14th, 2010 · 7 Comments · Afterlife, Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Clash of the Sexes, Coming of Age, Crossed Wires, Cute, Entertainment, Fairy Tale, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Horror, General Humor, General Interest, Horror, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Monster, Movies, Not As It Seems, Puns, Romance, Satire, Science Fiction, Sexual Innuendo, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Whimsy, Witty

The following are a dozen good reasons a proper young lady should never date a vampire. (1) There’s not much point to installing a mirror over your bed. (2) Your blood pudding will never measure up to his mother’s. (3) When you tell your BFFs about his mother, they’re disappointed you think she’s an old […]

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That Would Be Naïve of Me

April 24th, 2010 · 6 Comments · American Humor, Canada Humor, Cop Humor, Corruption, Difficult Decisions, Disturbing, Economic Humor, Economics, Family, Funny Rant, Funny Workplace, General Humor, General Interest, Hard Life Choices, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Mathematics, Mystery, Not As It Seems, Oddball, Offbeat, Police Lifestyle, Political Humor, Politicians, Rant, Sardonic, Satire, Scandal, Slice of Life, Surprise Twists, Technology Advances, Twisted, U.S. Social Commentary, Vice, Workplace, Zany

As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted […]

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The Mechanized Sorting Day of the Dead

December 27th, 2009 · 11 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Charming, Christmas, Cottage Life, Entertainment, Family Humor, Fantasy, Funny Horror, General Humor, General Interest, Ghost Story, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Literary, Magic Realism, Mood, Music, New Year's Eve, Offbeat, Paranormal, Song Lyrics, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Sweet, Theology, Uplifting, Whimsy

Now that he was dead, Norman Watts was in possession of certain information that someone in the living world would have given an arm and a leg to discover. Forget Halloween or Dia de los Muertos or any of those other days of the year when the departed are supposed to be revered. They might have been […]

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Every Family Lives by Its Sayings

August 12th, 2009 · Comments Off on Every Family Lives by Its Sayings · American Humor, British Humour, Canada Humor, Charming, Children and Pets, Coming of Age, Cute, Family, Family Humor, Feel Good, Funny Family, Funny Parable, Funny Sayings, General Humor, General Interest, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Nostalgia, Oddball, Offbeat, Puns, Screwball, Slice of Life, Sweet, Uplifting, Whimsy, Witty, Zany

“When one scoop of ice cream is too much, two scoops can sometimes be just right.” That was something my wife, Donna, said one summer evening – perhaps unwittingly, we’ve never been quite sure – when the family walked to the local ice cream parlour for a cool treat. Then she demonstrated her belief in this […]

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There’s No Such Thing as Time

July 15th, 2009 · Comments Off on There’s No Such Thing as Time · American Humor, Amusing, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Celebrities, Children and Pets, Coming of Age, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Generation Gap, Funny Science Fiction, Heartwarming, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Literary, Lyrical, Nostalgia, Offbeat, Science Fiction, Screwball, Silly, Storytelling, Surprise Twists, Time Travel, Witty

Whenever I hear a major celebrity has died, I am reminded that there is no such thing as time. Our most vivid memories of these individuals are when they were at their prime. Their vitality and life force made them seem indestructible. Then suddenly, ten or 20 or 30 years later they are gone. It seemingly […]

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Let the Robots Run the Place

April 29th, 2009 · Comments Off on Let the Robots Run the Place · Economic Humor, General Humor, General Interest, Lifestyle, Political Humor

It appears that Washington and the unions are set to take over control at GM. This opens the hatch to some weird possibilities.   For starters, you know how governments can mess things up. Don’t be surprised if General Motors is appointed to the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He is a high-ranking officer, after all. […]

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The Five Minutes that will Nickel and Dime You to Death

April 22nd, 2009 · Comments Off on The Five Minutes that will Nickel and Dime You to Death · American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Entertainment, Family Humor, Funny Editorial, Funny Rant, Lifestyle

Sometimes, I feel worn out and I think I know what the problem is. It’s the extra five minutes. You must know what I mean. We’ve all been saddled with a whole list of extra chores that nominally are supposed to take five minutes each, but often take longer. Plus just about everything now takes five minutes more than it should or used to anyway.

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Revenge of the Beaster Bunny

April 13th, 2009 · 2 Comments · Allegory or Fairy Tale, American Humor, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Children and Pets, Cute, Easter, Entertainment, Fairy Tale, Family, Family Humor, Funny Horror, General Humor, General Interest, Jokes, Lifestyle, Not As It Seems, Storytelling, Supernatural, Surprise Twists, Twisted, Uncategorized, Whimsy, Witty

You could tell these two had been at it, off and on, for years. The sparks were so intense and the language so extreme. Accusations were lobbed back and forth and concussive blasts figuratively shook the firmament. It was the dead of night, but the heat of anger made it seem bright as day.

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Canadian Male Pick-up Lines

February 7th, 2009 · 2 Comments · American Humor, Armed Forces Lifestyle, Bad Taste, British Comedy, British Humour, Canada Humor, Clash of the Sexes, Coming of Age, Cute, Family Humor, Funny Sex, General Humor, General Interest, Human Nature, Jokes, Lifestyle, Oddball, Offbeat, Outrageous, Puns, Romance, Satire, Screwball, Seduction, Sexual Innuendo, Slice of Life, Sports and Recreation, Tasteless, Twisted, Witty, Zany

In the quest for mates, various species of Canadian males have their own unique and surprisingly successful “pick-up” or “come-on” lines they use in drinking establishments, shopping mall food courts and wherever else potential female companionship is to be found.   Here are a few of them. I know these are effective, because I’ve tried several […]

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Food, Fashion, Finances, Family and Fun

December 31st, 2008 · Comments Off on Food, Fashion, Finances, Family and Fun · Entertainment, Family Humor, General Humor, Lifestyle

Since the purpose of a blog may partly be to make arbitrary and outrageous (sometimes silly?) statements, let me say that most interests in life can be categorized to one of five “f’s” – food, fashion, finances, family and fun.   I used to worry about the fact that in my blog entries, I have […]

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