Six co-workers were gathered in a hotel room in Dallas, Texas because they were concerned about one of their own. Raj had come to work for the large consulting firm a year before and he was liked by everyone.
Lately, though, he seemed bothered and distracted. Far from his home in Mumbai, he was stressed and depressed and in danger of an excess of self-medication. The others were there to give him support.
Frank had been the final person to arrive. He’d only been invited at the last minute and was still in the dark about why they were all there. He was a know-it-all and his pushy inquisitive nature often kept people from confiding in him. However, since he worked in the office next to Raj, he could hardly have been left out.
FRANK: Before we start, I’d just like to hear a little bit more about your country, Raj. Is that okay?
RAJ: Of course, my friend.
FRANK: How about that last election? Is Singh the right choice?
RAJ: I don’t know. I’d prefer to dance. But I can hum We are the Champions if you like.
FRANK: No, I mean Manmohan Singh, leader of the Congress Party.
RAJ: Yes, of course, a good House Republican.
FRANK: Tata?
RAJ: Toodle-loo. Are you leaving so soon?
FRANK: Tata Inc, the maker of the $2,500 Nano car.
RAJ: Yes, I’ve heard of that. I read somewhere that the interior looks cheap.
FRANK: Go figure. (pause) Sikhs?
RAJ: What?
FRANK: Sikhs?
RAJ: And ye shall find? I don’t know what you’re looking for.
FRANK: Nirvana.
Raj: Ah yes, Kurt Cobain. Now there was a troubled soul. What was the name of his girlfriend?
FRANK: Bangalore?
RAJ: No, that doesn’t sound right.
FRANK: Bangalore is the city in southern India where all the call centre training schools are located. (another pause) Love.
RAJ: Yes, yes. The Kama Sutra. Thank Buddha for the Kama Sutra. After my recent hernia operation, there were certain things I couldn’t do for a while, if you know what I mean. But then I came across this great instruction manual in a used book store. As Vishnu says, necessity is the mother of new positions.
FRANK: Courtney Love. She was Cobain’s girlfriend. Cricket?
RAJ: Grasshopper. Kung Fu. I loved that show.
FRANK: Sarong?
RAJ: Are you leaving again?
FRANK: Sari?
RAJ: That’s okay. No need to be.
FRANK: The State of Upper Pradesh?
RAJ: Oh, I’ve experienced that. How do you think Bollywood actors stay so energized? But the come-down can be brutal.
FRANK: That’s where the Congress Party beat the communists so that Singh could claim victory. Raj, you’re not really from India, are you?
RAJ: Alright, alright. I confess. My family has been here for many generations. I’m really from Indiana. The “n” and the “a” got dropped by the staff in HR and I never bothered to correct them. It’s hard getting an engineering job these days. But I’ve been feeling guilty ever since. One thing I do know about is karma. Are you going to tell management?
FRANK: No way. I think this makes you more interesting. (Turning to the others in the room). Now what’s this meeting all about?
****
Returning to the Carrick family fold, there are laughably cringe-worthy moments aplenty in The Misadventures of Watching Movies at Home with the Kids.
**
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