Now that the weather has turned a little cooler, it’s easy to grow nostalgic about the warm relaxing days of summer. But it’s worth remembering that those days weren’t perfect either.
I knew this day would come, so I wrote down a quick summary of some of the little annoyances that made me glad to get back to work in the fall.
You know you’ve had enough of your summer holiday when:
(1) The liquor cabinet is so empty, it’s seeing a psychiatrist.
(2) Your bank account is so low, it’s on Prozac.
(3) You’re so mellow, concerned citizens call the paramedics who turn your body over to the coroner’s office.
(4) The kids are so bored, they want to learn algebra.
(5) Lying in the hammock seems like too much work.
(6) That little rash you got from swimmer’s itch or poison ivy now has craters and crevices that would do the moon proud. Applying calamine lotion has become your new full-time job.
(7) The dog can no longer be bothered to chase sticks, fetch the paper, bark at the neighbours, snap at flies or scratch itself.
(8) The thought of one more hot dog or another piece of watermelon makes you want to cry, then purge.
(9) The barbecue has forged shut from overuse.
(10) The sun has turned your skin so leathery that no one can tell whether you’re naked or dressed in full biker gear.
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The Monkey, the Croc and the T-Rex: a story from an alternative universe in which traditional publishing is challenged by a reporter’s headline, “Dinosaur Spots Comet in Sky”.
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For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and here for the Kindle e-book version.
For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.
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