There has been a major casualty of the digital age that you may be noticing only peripherally. Has it entered your consciousness that there are fewer punning headlines anymore?
There is a very good reason for this. The business of publishing is increasingly dependent on the Internet. In turn, Internet-based advertising sales depend on “number of hits” or “Internet-pages viewed”.
People find news stories on-line by going to the sites of their favourite newspapers and magazines. But they also find what they are looking for through search engines provided by the likes of Google and Yahoo.
The goal, from a publisher’s standpoint, is to have the “web crawlers” and “spiders” launched by the search engines locate their stories as easily and readily as possible. Bare-bones headlines make this process easier.
It is best to get as many pertinent facts into the headline as possible. That way, a search on specific terminology (e.g., inflation rate, Gross Domestic Product, etc.) is more likely to find the headline and the story quickly.
Hence, the fall-off in the number of word-game headlines. Web spiders don’t “get” puns.
I think this is a shame. Furthermore, I now understand that I need to be less funny, which may not actually be much of a problem. However, it does cut down on my creativity. On any given economic subject, I’ve always liked some variant of:
“Québec is Up, Ontario is Down and the Prairies are Flat”.
This just amuses me. Some of the best sources for ridiculous headlines are in the fisheries and in agriculture. Who hasn’t been tickled, seeing?
“Fishermen Set Sail just for the Halibut”
“Bad Kernels Pop Corn Price Bubble”
Here’s a story that I would love to write:
“Motion Moved that Alberta has Gas Problem”
Then the first line of the article might read: “Oil second that”, says energy executive; followed by “Something smells in methane country, according to government official.”
Financial markets are a rich minefield for such material, as demonstrated by:
“Investors Shafted by Gold Mine Scam”
And when a rather large psychic comes to town and gives advice on the stock market:
“Tall Medium Sells Short”
Here are three more:
“Salmon Run Spawns Record, Anglers Hooked”
“Tire Prices Inflate, Sales Skid”
“Fruit Growers Say Frostbite’s the Pits”
Finally, this is my all-time favourite. I’ve been dying to use it. It’s so simple and yet so eloquent.
“Post-War Baby Boomers Cry for Change”
Take a second to think about it. Is it perfect? That “Depends” on whether or not the word “diaper” needs to actually appear.
****
And now for something a little more practical, Spotting the Space Aliens Among Us.
**
For my first book, “Two Scoops” Is Just Right, please click here for the paperback version and herefor the Kindle e-book version.
For the sequel, “Three Scoops” Is A Blast! (with the award-winning “Size of the Skip”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
For “Four Scoops” Is Over The Top (containing Hemingway short-listed “Caboose Follies”) click here for paperback and here for Kindle.
And finally, for my latest book, “Five Scoops” Is An Addiction!, please click here for the paperback and here for the Kindle digital version.
Also, I would love it if you joined me on Twitter (Alex_Carrick), Facebook and/or LinkedIn.
