Alex Carrick’s Blog

The following are a dozen good reasons a proper young lady should never date a vampire. (1) There’s not much point to installing a mirror over your bed. (2) Your blood pudding will never measure up to his mother’s. (3) When you tell your BFFs about his mother, they’re disappointed you think she’s an old […]

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How hot and humid is Toronto this summer? There’s no question it’s a scorcher. We’re setting new record highs daily.   It’s such a sizzler that…  (1) Out-0n-bail G20 protesters have declared a moratorium on burning cop cars. (2) Casual Friday has become sponge bath Friday; (3) All of the city’s mayoral candidates want to tax and license running […]

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Since video book trailers are now all the rage, the following is the script for the first foray into the field by Donna and myself. This is a little self-serving, no doubt about it, plus there is some catharsis. The camera starts rolling. ALEX: Hi everyone, my name is Alex Carrick and I’m here to tell […]

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Here are sixteen new highly-sophisticated road jokes. (1) Why did all the world’s politicians cross the road? The bridge? The highway? To take credit for the infrastructure work. (2) Why did Jack Bauer cross the road? He finished torturing all the terrorists on this side. (3) Why did Gregory House cross the road? To avoid walking under a ladder, […]

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As a special favor, Louise Traynor was escorted to a couple’s table in the trattoria’s alcove by the establishment’s executive chef and owner late into the luncheon sitting. The faux Italian décor was complemented by Dean Martin crooning in the background. A tiny fountain listlessly gurgled in the centre of the room. Other diners noted […]

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My name is Earl Thomas and I’m a reporter with the Tombstone Tabloid. Every week we try to bring our readers an interview with one of the Wild West’s more prominent citizens. This week we have “One Shot” Calhoun in the Hot Seat in our saloon studio. One Shot, as surely everyone knows, is the […]

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The following is an edifying tale wherein a king learns a valuable lesson from his queen and the whole nation is better off as a consequence. The court jester plays a pivotal role as well, although he probably came to wish he’d stayed out of it.   There once lived a king who was always mad. […]

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Note: This story received an honorable mention in the 2010 Lorian Hemingway Short Story Competition. The man, his son and his daughter had a routine when they went for a bike ride. Taking point position would be the son, about to turn age 12, on a medium-sized bike. In the middle would be the daughter, just […]

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Paying attention to detail solved the case. There were several abnormalities to note about the two-foot-tall fish tank. A small amount of water had been displaced, as if someone’s arm had been inserted all the way; the ceramic castle on the bottom appeared to have been moved on its granular base, possibly for aesthetic reasons; […]

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The following are the jounal entries of Mr. Justin Smythe, a gentleman hobby farmer living outside the lovely theatre community of Stratford, Ontario where a widely-known Shakespearean festival is held each year. Mr. Smythe’s life proceeds quietly as he tends his cattle and occasionally takes walks in 30 acres he has set aside on his property for […]

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