To understand the current medical-coverage debate in the United States, you have to know your history. When President Bill Clinton was first elected, his wife Hillary took on the task of comparison shopping around the world to determine the best medical plans. The conclusion was that the most outstanding coverage was offered by Hogwarts Academy in the wizarding world.
A wave of a wand and broken bones were healed. The brewing of a potion and most other afflictions could be overcome. Moreover, the Hogwart’s plan was very comprehensive. For example, being a full or even a half muggle was not considered to be a pre-existing condition that would disqualify one from coverage.
The head of Hogwarts at the time, Albus Dumbledore, in discussions with Hillary, said that he would be pleased to make a similar plan available in the United States on one condition. He wanted something in return, the legalization of gay marriages. Hill and Bill on the Hill said that they would do what they could, but that change was more likely to come through state legislation.
Therefore, over the next several years, many states did bring in the appropriate legal changes and high profile same-sex couples tied their knots in California and elsewhere across America. But then Dumbledore died and the whole arrangement fell through.
The Democrats fell out of favor with voters and eight years of darkness descended on the land. I’m not trying to be political here, but the parallels seem obvious. It was a time of Death Eaters (Republicans?) roaming at will and Voldemort (Bush?) rising to the ascendant.
Now that those days are past and President Obama has been voted in as President, the subject of universal health care has returned to the front burner. Private negotiations with the wizarding world are heating up again. But there is one big problem. The behind-the-scenes point man for the administration is Harry Potter’s friend Ron. This presents a potential public relations nightmare for the President.
Private-sector health care providers are fiercely opposed to government intervention in their industry. If they ever find out the truth about the secret negotiations that are underway, they will take every opportunity to speak badly about this so-called Weasley Plan. The President is at his wit’s end trying to figure out how to package and sell his efforts without revealing too much.
By the way, Hogwarts was where swine flu first reared up, not Mexico, as most people have been led to believe. Animal steward, Hagrid, suffered the first instance of an animal-giant crossover of the virus. Malfoy had just received his degree in medicine and was newly appointed as chief medical officer of the school. He badly botched Hagrid’s case and provided inept care to faculty and students alike. Malfoy is now facing a string of malfeasance and malpractice suits.
For a while, the school was under quarantine due to the outbreak of the dreaded disease. The first symptoms among the institution’s animal population were interesting and ironic to say the least. They included, dare it be said, hog warts.
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Madcap amusement is the payoff in Disney Goes After a Bigger Fish than Marvel. Don’t wait for the comic book version.
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